The 9-Line Prediction: BYU vs. Notre Dame

1. As I have noted in the past, the first line will continue to be the # of times the slow-mo BYU commercial plays until the folks at Brigham Young University realize their mistake - LINE: 2.5 - UNDER (Please)

2. !RILEY NO! Plays - LINE: 1.5 - Has Riley learned from his past transgressions? I'm not talking about bad throws or decisions. Those are bound to happen. I am referring to plays where the entire college football world scratches its head in vapidity. The times when Riley closes his eyes and exclaims "YOLO!" BYU can't have that today. Yet... OVER

3. Times I Will Swoon Over Mike Mayock - LINE: 1,323,443 - If you are not familiar with Mike Mayock, you will be given a grand introduction at 1:30 MT. There is no better color commentator in the business. And after being force-fed Rod Gilmore and David Pollack for much of the first portion of the season, Mayock is going to sound as mesmerizing to BYU fans as William Faulkner. As for his co-hort Tom Hammond, let's just say he's R.L. Stein. PUSH

4. Theo Riddick Total Rushing + Receiving Yards - LINE: 85.5 yards - Brian Kelly wants to get the ball into his playmaker's hands. Riddick will stretch the field both vertically and sideline-to-sideline. Look for BYU's front-seven to cause the Irish trouble through the first three quarters of action. Riddick will be used out of the backfield as the second half wears on. He gets the line late. OVER

5. Manti Te'o tackles - LINE: 7 - Video of Manti Te'o destroying BYU's defense can be seen here (hat tip to Biff Tannen) Seriously, though, Te'o is such a great story. And for BYU fans, a somewhat bittersweet one. The Cougars were seen as a major player in Te'o's recruitment just a few years ago. Then...it all went away. Te'o stated this week that he received an answer to prayer about attending Notre Dame. And, with the kind of exposure he has generated for the LDS Church through his play, persona, and story, one can understand why. OVER

6. Longest TD of the game - LINE: 39.5 yards - Both defenses are legit, notwithstanding BYU being throughly out-schemed and out-coached last week against Oregon State. Look for Bronco Mendenhall to bounce back. And as for Notre Dame's defense, they are playing BYU's offense so...yeah. UNDER

7. Brian Kelly Frustrated Face - LINE: 3.5 - BK has toned it down this year, but one of the most gif'able faces in all of college football will be on display. Especially with a possibility that all three QB's not named Gunner Kiel will see the field. Kelly is basically a 1990's version of Steven Orr Spurrier. OVER

8. Total Points - LINE: 40 - Last week, we all thought the under was laughably high. (It was at 37.5!!) Well, we were wrong. #BlameVegas. This week, I still think it is too high. And I'll be back next week to apologize for being wrong. UNDER

9. Notre Dame - LINE: (-13) - BYU has nothing to lose in South Bend. No one except Mark May believes the Cougars are going to win. And May believes that because he is a hack and likes to torment his elders (see Holtz, Lou). Oregon State jumped on BYU from the first drive and the Y never felt comfortable. The first possession for the BYU defense will set the stage for the remainder of the contest. BYU's defense will keep the Cougs in the ballgame, but I just don't think Nelson and Co. can generate points when they get into the redzone. NOTRE DAME 24 BYU 13