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2012 BYU Football, as told by Star Wars, LOTR, Tolstoy, Batman, and McCarthy

Culture infects Sport.

Stephen Dunn

Here is a list of movie and novel quotations as edited and applied to BYU Football. These quotes are all in fun. No editorial commentary is included and none should be inferred. Enjoy! And if you have any other suggestion, make sure to comment below.


"And in their desperation, they turned to a man they didn't fully understand." - Chris Nolan, speaking prophetically of Riley Nelson

"Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos." Riley the Joker

"How bout a magic trick? I'm going to make your BCS hopes disappear! Ta Da!" - Riley the Joker (via @j_rich)


"It is amazing how complete is the delusion that grit is goodness."


"It should have ended that day, but Riley was allowed to endure. There's no strength left in BYU. Scattered, divided, leaderless." (via @brendanloy)

"There is one who could unite them: Jake Heaps." "He turned from that path a long time ago. He has chosen exile." (via @brendanloy)

Lark: "I would have followed you, my coordinator."

Doman: "Be at peace, Son of Gondor." (via @RealDSean)


"Oh, I'm afraid Riley's back will be quite operational when the bowl arrives." - Emperor Mendenhall (via @Captain_Strongo) -

"Young fool. Only now, at the end of the season, [points to Lark's stats at NMSU] do you understand." - Emperor Mendenhall

"I find your lack of grit disturbing." - Darth Bronco (via @JwFergie24) -

Fan: "Your overconfidence in Riley is your weakness."

Bronco: "Your faith in James Lark is yours." (via @rgrantjohnson) -

"Oh no, young Cougarboard'r. You will find that it is you who are mistaken - about a great many things." - Emperor Mendenhall -

"I'm looking forward to completing your training. [from Safety to QB] In time you will call me, Master." - Emperor Mendenhall (via @GJandCo)


"Riley was gone and the coldness of it was his final gift." /postgame tweet after Riley's loss to SDSU

"2013 optimism is like some ancient anointing. So be it. When you have nothing else, construct ceremonies out of the air and breathe upon them."

"The names of things slowly shrinking into oblivion. Pass completions. Grit. Finally the names of things one believed to be true."

"Borrowed position and borrowed stadium and borrowed reps with which to throw incomplete passes." (via @KeithHarten)

"[watching Poinsettia Bowl] Nobody wants to be here and nobody wants to leave."

"There is no god and Riley Nelson is his prophet."

"As fans celebrated Riley beating USU, Doman remembered what he had said before. That good luck might be no such thing." (via @KeithHarten)

"Perhaps in the destruction of BYU's offense it would be possible at last to see how it was made." (via @KeithHarten)