9-Line Prediction: BYU vs. Hawaii

Remember that time when over a five day span, BYU lost heartbreaking road games at Utah and at Boise? Me neither. Remember when we used to get to play Mountain West opponents on a regular basis? That time is now! The Mountain West and Western Athletic Conferences are the Balm of Gilead that BYU fans are in need of. Now, 9 Vegas-style lines about how I think tonight's game against Hawaii will go.

1. Alcohol Commercials during a BYU Football game: 13.5 - I know, I know. Mormons aren't the only ones who watch nationally televised BYU football games. Still, you can't help but laugh at the number of Bud Light, Dos Equis, et al advertisements you will see over the course of the broadcast. OVER

2. Hawaii turnovers: 2.5 - BYU's defense has been absolutely lights-out over the first four games of the season. BroncoD has played well enough to be 4-0. Unfortunately, the offense is well, THIS. The one chink in the armor re: BYU's defense has been the inability to cause turnovers. The remedy is playing a bad team. Oh, hai Hawaii! OVER

3. Incomplete Hawaii Pass Attempts greater than 40 yards - 3.5 - Washington State, Weber State, Utah, and Boise State all tried the deep vertical route against BYU. It is usually Preston Hadley who is the recipient. With BYU's stout front seven, can't help but think Hawaii will go to the scheme more than usual. OVER

4. Riley Nelson snaps at QB: 0.5 - The proper response to Riley Nelson is to give him a warm, thankful hug of gratitude for his determination, #truegrit, and toughness. And then hand him the clipboard. Bronco has again restated his desire to have Riley start, explicitly stating that an injured Riley is better for the team than a healthy Jackson Brown. /looks at the roster - Wait, Taysom Hill is not some 4^th string walk-on? Bronco acts like Hill is the Joe Biden of quarterbacks and will move all hell to make sure #2 does not become #1. (Democrats can enter Sarah Palin in this equation. #BiPartisanJokes) In the end, the injury itself, and not the logic preceding will make the decision. UNDER

5. Times I Will Look at the MWC Logo on Hawaii's Uniform and Become Nostalgic: -1,294,211 - (Line Closed)

6. Cody Hoffman receiving yards - 69.5 - Big game from the Big Man. OVER

7. Ross Apo catches: 3.5 - Criticisms against Ross's route running, his toughness, and his ability to get open are all well founded. That being said, it seems that whenever the ball comes his way, the pass either bounces before reaching him or sails over his head. Or he ‘steps out of bounds' and his catch is nullified, as was the case in the Boise game. I'm ready for a breakout from #1. Apo has all the tools to be a playmaking receiver. It begins tonight. OVER

8. Total Points Scored: 49.5 - Playing at home and against a porous defense, BYU will feel like its been born again. That doesn't mean the Cougars are going to set the world on fire offensively. UNDER

9. Line: BYU by -25.5 - The opening line for this contest was 28.5 points. It has dropped a full three points in the past five days. Bettors obviously remembered that BYU's offense has been a Grade-A dumpster fire, and the fact that they are playing a horrible Hawaii team does not necessarily mean that the Cougars will win by four-plus touchdowns. Well, these bettors also forget that BYU thrives on dominating lesser foes. Especially at home. COVER

Why?

Taysom Hill is going to be a special player. I have chronicled this here and here. In fact, I consider myself a Taysom Hill hipster. /puts on black-framed glasses and skinny jeans. Being inserted into the Boise State game, with the Cougars on their own 1-yard line and the crowd going crazy, you can't help but think that it will all get easier for the freshman moving forward. The game will slow down, the reads will become easier, and Hill will be just fine. He is just a freshman, and I am not expecting Heisman-esque numbers tonight in his first start in Provo. I am expecting to see a raw yet talented QB who will we a part of BYU Football artithmatic for the next three plus years. Tonight we will see the future of BYU Football. He wears number 4. And his time is now. BYU 33 Hawaii 6