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IN-DEPTH ANALYSIS: A breakdown of the BYU dunks

Yoeli committed a murder on Saturday night. He might want to lay low for a little while.

On Saturday, December 9th in the year of our Lord 2018, one Yoeli Childs of the house of BYU Basketball performed one of the most impressive dunks in program history. To describe said dunk using the common tongue would be a disgrace to the act itself, so we will refrain from any analysis but instead give you an in-depth breakdown of the reactions from those who were present.

First, let us revisit the dunk. You’ve probably watched it at least 309 times already, but we all know that it’s deserving of a few more views.

In the immortal words of one Jesse Katsopolis, aka Uncle Jesse, “Have mercy.”

There was another dunk that happened on Saturday and it came by way of Zac Seljass who had himself a great game. After coming up with a steal, Zac threw it down with authority, using both of his hands to show the rim and the opposing defense who was in charge.

Both of these dunks gave us some pretty great reactions so let’s take a look.

THE REACTIONS - Yoeli’s Dunk

Here we have Both Gach who was one of the two poor souls that attempted to stop Yoeli from getting to the rim. Instead of getting in the lane, Gach got a front row seat to what will probably be classified as a murder. The SLC police department have probably contacted him and will most definitely bring him in to get his account of the crime. Both probably wishes he had turned away as that moment will be burned in to his retinas forever.

Riley Battin looks like he just realized that he forgot to put his name on that “Letters of the Alphabet” exam that he took the day before the game. Usually Mr. Thomas can can spot his test packet because Riley has a hard time writing R and K, but last time the professor said that if he didn’t put his name on the test he would receive a frowny face instead of a smiley face.

Deep down Zac is trying to enjoy this dunk. He really is. Zac and Yoeli are good friends that enjoy eating pizza and talking about SpongeBob memes. They even went on a drive up the canyon a few months back to enjoy the fresh mountain air together with a few other teammates. But it’s hard for Zac to truly enjoy this dunk because seeing this triggered a memory of when Yoeli did the same thing to Zac in a practice over the summer. Zac tried to forget it but he just can’t. This might haunt him for years to come, but it’s OK because Zac has taken up dunking as well.

Thoughts and prayers to the family of Novak Topalovic as they try to figure out how to ship his dead body back to Serbia for a proper burial. I mean it’s got to cost a small fortune to 1) find a casket that will fit someone seven feet tall and 2) make sure it arrives to his homeland in a decent amount of time. At least they got to see their boy Novak move into the next life doing what he loved most. I would imagine that the last thing that went through his mind was, “I am seven feet tall, surely he can’t du...”.

THE REACTIONS - Zac’s Dunk

You can’t see Luke’s feet in this photo but he got at least 7 inches off the ground, which is nearly twice as high as he has jumped all season. That’s what the power of a dunk will do to a man.

Nick is very excited about this dunk but not too excited because if he looked like he was having too much fun then someone might think this happiness was due to improper benefits, like smiles from family members or an extra french fry or two from McDonalds. One day Nick will be able to enjoy life without having to worry about these things.

McKay Cannon looks like he is either very excited about this dunk or maybe Dalton Nixon accidentally punched him in the junk upon his celebration. As we all know when playing the University of Utah, safety first. Even then you’re celebrating on the bench.

Dalton Nixon looks like me in the sixth grade when I found out that if you quickly pressed the Fanta button on the vending machine while putting in your dollar it would give you two or three soda bottles instead of just one.

Can someone check on Gavin Baxter to make sure he’s ok? Dude looks like he’s going to pull a Bruce Banner and grow into a giant green monster. Just look at his face and neck! Once someone can confirm that Gavin is healthy please report back to VTF. Thank you.

Lee Cummard and Nate Austin look like couple of medical device salesmen that just closed a big account that will put them well over their Q4 projections, a feat that will finally impress their regional manager. Even if they don’t win the quarterly sales bonus, they’re still going to hit up Benihana to celebrate. LETS GOOOOOOO.

Rylan Bergersen clearly didn’t see the dunk as he is clapping and smiling like a normal person. This is clearly the face of that person at a sporting event who jumps ups and cheers when they hear everyone else screaming, only to ask the person next to them what happened. Get your head in the game, Rylan.

This is just how Kolby Lee looks.

Traxtyn, Wekstin and Boydee knew it was going to be a fun game when their parents hooked it up with these sweet tickets right behind the BYU bench. Then they got to see a life-changing dunk and nothing was the same, even for Boydee who thought he was a Utah fan until this very moment.

“Mom, look. It says here that the man in the red blazer in one of the 10 highest-paid college basketball coaches in America. That can’t be right, can it?”