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Before we dive into our feast, let me provide a brief primer on the the recent history of the BYU-Utah State basketball series for those who may not be familiar:
BYU and Utah State play each other in basketball every year. BYU usually beats Utah State, which makes Aggie fans very sad and causes them to (virtually and perhaps physically) cry what are popularly referred to as #AggieTears. This sadness tends to cause them to lash out and make excuses for their team's poor performance. Most often, these excuses revolve around an alleged imbalance in game locations — they say the Cougars are afraid to play Utah State on its home court at the Spectrum and endlessly taunt BYU with challenges to "Come to Logan."
Of course, this is a mostly ridiculous excuse made up by people grasping at straws, generally after being embarrassed in neutral court matchups. As our own Keith Shirts pointed out earlier, BYU has traveled to Logan just as often as Utah State has traveled to Provo during the Dave Rose era. And while it's certainly true that the Aggies have had great success in games played at the Spectrum (having last lost to the Cougars there in 2000), BYU has owned the series just about everywhere else in recent years. And yet, the misdirected catcalls of "Come to Logan" persisted.
Until Tuesday.
Because, you see, BYU actually did "Come to Logan" (as they have been scheduled to do for several years) — and they left with a convincing 91-81 victory over the home team. So that kind of takes the whole "you can't beat us on the road and you're scared of the Spectrum" page right out of the old #AggieTears playbook, making a flimsy set of excuses even flimsier.
This can't be an easy time for our friends to the far north. Not only did they lose a single game, but they also lost their last remaining rationalization for BYU's hardwood superiority. Let's check in on them and see how they're navigating the five stages of grief — and perhaps feast on some delicious #AggieTears while we're at it.
Stage 1: Denial
When something bad happens, it's easy to deny that the bad thing is, in fact, happening. There's no way BYU is actually beating us in Logan. It must be something else...
These refs must have come up with BYU!! #takehiswhistle
— Nicole Kunzler (@nkunzler) December 3, 2014
@USUBangarang @AggieUp I think BYU brought their own refs!
— Donna Frazier-Harris (@dfrazierharris) December 3, 2014
Hard to play 5 against 8 sometimes
— Front Row Network (@USUfrontrow) December 3, 2014
Momentum has swung to BYU after each of the bad foul calls on Collette
— AggieUp (@AggieUp) December 3, 2014
I didn't know my tithing money was going towards BYU's referee payroll fund. @TheMormonProbs
— PETE (@PeterPettigrew_) December 3, 2014
Stage 2: Anger
Once it has become clear that the bad thing has actually occurred, it is common for grievers to lash out at others in anger to fill the emptiness in their souls.
BYU more like BYPoo
— Rebecca Titland (@beccaaleigh95) December 3, 2014
Anybody at the game have a tissue so pretty boy Haws can wipe his tears?
— Garrett Nix (@gnix20) December 3, 2014
Tyler Haws is that guy in church ball that gets so competitive that he cries during the game.
— AggieUp (@AggieUp) December 3, 2014
Did y'all see the BYU no-shave November results? Looked like a deacon's quorum to me.
— Garrett Nix (@gnix20) December 3, 2014
The good news is none of us will go home to a meth lab bust happening in our apartment building. #StaySafeLogan
— The Bangarang (@USUBangarang) December 3, 2014
Just think if the prophet hadn't had that revelation then the BYU athletic program wouldn't be able to use black ppl to win games
— #CanaryBurgundy (@iWreck_Weaves) December 3, 2014
Great game tonight. Screw Tyler Haws for getting in Jojo face. Sucks that my tithing money pays for people I hate. Byu can burn in hell.
— Drake Turner (@drizzydrake1525) December 3, 2014
I don't hate losing to BYU, I hate losing to BYU's fan base. Probably the worst in all of sports.
— Ryan Baylis (@rybay) December 3, 2014
Stage 3: Bargaining
Once the anger subsides a bit, the griever may make an attempt to somehow undo or avoid the loss and pain that has been suffered.
This is a year for ending streaks. Our football win in Provo and BYU's basketball win here in Logan.
— Front Row Network (@USUfrontrow) December 3, 2014
@TheRealTO Yes, 1000 times. Ruining their football season vs losing a hoops game we were "supposed" to lose? Not even close.
— Braden Green (@BradenGreen1) December 3, 2014
It's cool. We are a football school anyway
— Kraig (@KraigW) December 3, 2014
Seeing BYU tweets wouldd make u think they just beat a senior laden rival, not a freshman filled instate little brother #graciouswinners
— Trevor Weller (@trevwell) December 3, 2014
Just regular loss. This is only a rivalry for THEM, not for us. #BYUvsUSU
— Tom Grover (@tomgrover) December 3, 2014
Just putting this out there, Aggies are done with finals after next week! How do you feel about that BYU? #aggielovin
— natalie nix (@winnie4ed) December 3, 2014
Stage 4: Depression
But eventually, the griever begins to fully understand the harsh reality of what has just occurred — and things get a little sad.
Wow that hurt. That really did. I hate losing to them.
— Derick (@lelandpanthers) December 3, 2014
When even your Mom who went to BYU rubs it in pic.twitter.com/XITc9fY6SW
— Mac City (@mckayholt) December 3, 2014
Reffing hasn't been great, but if we bothered to box out and make free throws this would still be a game. Reffing isn't the problem.
— Jonny Floyd (@JN_Floyd) December 3, 2014
@USUfrontrow some bad calls but inability to rebound is what doomed us
— Todd Alder (@toddga15) December 3, 2014
@efrandsen I wish I could be optimistic that it will... but I can't be. Shame because I love watching this team fight and grow.
— Matt Sonnenberg (@RefractionFaf) December 3, 2014
Stage 5: Acceptance
But even in the darkest of times, cooler heads ultimately prevail. Acceptance of the loss is achieved and, in this specific case, the supremacy of BYU (both on the court and, it seems, in the romantic realm) is recognized.
I'm not gonna lie, I have a crush on #5 from BYU... aka Kyle.
— katy-kanes (@katy_keeslar) December 3, 2014
This loss hurts. But BYU was just a better team. Going to call it as it is. #usu
— Harry (@hacaines) December 3, 2014
— Brad Francis (@bfran12) December 3, 2014
@kyleireland BYU just the better team this year. Not hard to see.
I know nobody wants to hear the voice of reason but that was good fight from USU against a very good BYU squad. Learn from it and improve
— Kraig (@KraigW) December 3, 2014
@youngtim32 @gnix20 @PostJimmer Great game by BYU. Rose recruited well & they executed tonight. I ♡ my Aggies but I can recognize good ball
— DessertCON (@DCon90) December 3, 2014
Tyler Haws is a baller. Proud of the fight from my Aggies but BYU was too good. Got to move on to the next one. #UState
— TWade (@cheecho6) December 3, 2014
In all seriousness, congrats to #BYU on the win. Haws is incredible. Look forward to the next matchup in the rivalry. #BYUvsUSU
— Tom Grover (@tomgrover) December 3, 2014